I’m so so so thankful for the insane amount of amazing people I’ve met through PF. These 4 in particular. They’ve been there for me when I needed them and I swear I’ll always be there for them. Through specific planning of a kidnapping, starting a rap group, sharing our deepest darkest secrets and talking about life in lengthy emails, having each others backs when people try to eat our faces off, and simple hello’s, we’ve been through a lot together and I couldn’t even begin to explain how much they mean to me. The best part of PF isn’t their music, it’s the family that comes along with it. I’ve never had that sense of home and because of PF and the people they brought into my life, now I do. So shouts out to Trea, Cara, Neera, and Faith for bein tru homies!
Someone brought it to my attention that I had them blocked on one of my twitter accounts which implies that at one point I didn’t like them for some reason. So to the people who at one point I didn’t like for some reason,
I probably don’t even remember why I didn’t like you.
When we argued I was probably in the wrong 70% of the time.
I’m sorry.
In my defense, I’m not the same person I was 1, 2, or 3 years ago. I’m not even the same person I was last week. I honestly don’t remember most of the reasons I had “problems” with certain people. And I could throw a legit excuse at you as to why that is but I know you wouldn’t buy it because even in a different state of mind, in your eyes, I’m still me. And I get that. You can hold onto the past and choose to still hold me accountable for whatever I said/did and I wouldn’t blame you if you continue to not like me if what I did was really that horrible but know that I’m sorry for whatever it was and that I forgive you for whatever wrongs you may have done. Lets be real, we were all 16-ish and dumb. We were all in the wrong at one point or another. I had strong opinions and a need to express them in a way you could look at as standing up for what I believe in?… aggressively? I know that for some time the word ‘bitch’ was just a synonym for my name. haha Honestly, if the me right now met the me from 3 years ago believe me, we would have some words.
I understand that I’ve made mistakes. I’m aware that in the past, at times I would play the victim when I was just as much at fault as the other person(s). And other times I really was the victim. Some people might say that I set the spark to that fire and maybe I did. But it definitely wasn’t me who kept it burning. But I also didn’t give anyone any water to throw on it either. People did over exaggerate situations. Drastically. And instead of being the bigger person, I cowered away and let them. An accomplice to my own downfall in a way. I’m not putting the blame on everyone else and I’m not putting the blame on only me. I’m like, the Switzerland of previous twitter fights. (bad analogy. sorry.)
The reason I’m bringing this all up is because about a week ago I got a message in my ask.fm that I guess you could call ‘hate’ and it really shocked me because I hadn’t gotten hate for m o n t h s. And I guess the reason for that was because I didn’t give anybody a reason to hate me.The person who sent it probably still hasn’t let go of something that happened forever ago.
This post is my way of letting go of the past but not forgetting it. I’m not too fond of the phrase “forgive and forget” Forgive if you can. But never forget. You’ll never grow if you do. I guess I’m just trying to clear it up for anyone who questions it. Because you can’t really move on from something until you know what that something is. There are things that for some reason I felt like I wasn’t allowed to talk about and I hate that. I want to be as open and honest with you guys as I can. (in a mature and non-aggressively way haha) So if you have a question or need clarification on something that happened let me know. And I’ll tell you. Maybe it’ll help everyone move on and maybe this post is pointless and no one will read it but it’s my way of trying to put out the flame.
“In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.”
And a short note to the people who have always been by my side even when I was in the wrong. Respect bro. Really. I know for a fact that there were times where I was so far off the ‘this is an okay thing to say’ spectrum but you still supported me because you knew that even if it was in a very immature and rude way, deep down, my intentions weren’t all that bad. And to those who have told me that they look up to my honesty and willingness to speak my mind, I won’t ever stop doing that I promise. But from now on I’ll do it mindfully and less abruptly.
Idk yo. I just wanted to write this to let all my h8-ers and people who have wronged me know that I forgive them and more importantly, to apologize to those who I have wronged and hurt. I don’t expect anyone to forgive me and pretend like nothing happened but I just want you to at least understand that I get it. I know. I’m swear I’m not the same. And I’m sorry.
And high-five to the people reading this out of boredom.
With a cover, a video, a single, an album, and talk of a tour it looks like things are [finally] starting to move along. After months of what can only be described as radio silence and just over 6 months since they last hit the road; Sam took to Instagram and well.. said the T word. And to be honest, we’re all kinda freaking out.
Back when Paradise Fears was doing the Live Forever tour there was talk about a new album coming out in May. Clearly that didn’t happen and it’s had everyone itching with curiosity. There were a few people claiming that the release of the album was put off because of problems with DigSin and then there were some who thought maybe PF was gonna break up and that’s why they’ve been so quiet lately. Yikes! More so, there was talk about it being simply because DigSin partnered with UMG and that maybe the music ownership of PFs new album had to be switched around. I’m not entirely sure what the partnering entailed but you can read an article about it here: hitsdailydouble.com
Whatever the reason was it looks like we wont have to wait much longer. Listeners who attended the Morningside College show in Sioux City, Iowa said that the guys talked about a new single being released in a month or less. (The new single not being ‘Talk About It’) And an album release before the end of 2015.
After what felt like an eternity of silence, on Friday August 28th 2015 Paradise Fears took to the stage at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa. They performed an array of songs including a new one titled ‘Talk About It.’
Paradise Fears Setlist 8/28/15
Allisha Anderson (bless her soul) recorded the new song and posted it on YouTube. Although the sound quality of the video isn’t the best Alyssa, skeletonsandplans on tumblr, wrote down what she thought the lyrics might be. I too tried this and failed miserably coming up with lyrics such as “I think the brooms are here” but we won’t talk about that..
Here’s Alyssa’s take on the song:
there are things in yourself that you don’t understand like why the weight’s on your shoulders and the phone’s in your hand you tell me,
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
there are things in yourself that you don’t understand why you still wanna tell me every time you’re with him
it’s been a while since (?) i saw the light and it’s been a few months since you stayed the night since you fooled me once, i get to fool myself and now you’re scared of what’ll happen if you lose yourself
but i think the bruises heal, i think the bruises heal i could kiss your every scar until the wound is sealed and when the sun comes up we’ll be looking at each other saying,
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
i don’t really wanna talk about it
i could see you on your knees, your regret (?) we could get a little loud and forget cause i don’t really wanna live without it
it’s been a while since i saw inside your head and all the perfect little paintings and the blues and reds cause you fooled me once, i guess you fooled yourself and now you’re scared of what’ll happen if you lose yourself
i think the bruises heal, i think the bruises heal i could kiss your every scar until the wound is sealed and when the sun comes up we’ll be looking at each other saying
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
some know you like i used to when i can’t see you, see me i don’t know you like i used to when i can’t see you, see me, no
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it i don’t really wanna talk about it right now, right now
You can determine how accurate she was by checking out the video below.
I’m so so so thankful for the insane amount of amazing people I’ve met through PF. These 4 in particular. They’ve been there for me when I needed them and I swear I’ll always be there for them. Through specific planning of a kidnapping, starting a rap group, sharing our deepest darkest secrets and talking about life in lengthy emails, having each others backs when people try to eat our faces off, and simple hello’s, we’ve been through a lot together and I couldn’t even begin to explain how much they mean to me. The best part of PF isn’t their music, it’s the family that comes along with it. I’ve never had that sense of home and because of PF and the people they brought into my life, now I do. 
PF Updates 